The next time I was in the dinner cart, I dined alone, if you could call it dining. Time passed in a hazy blur, like it was passing and wasn't at the same time. I didn't know how long I had been on the train, nor could I remember how I spent my time there. I just sort of floated along, without the guidance of the attendant now, with a very detached interest of my surroundings. I never ran into another passenger in the hallways; they always seemed to be in the "dining" area.
What could have been another few hours or days later, I returned to my table to find that the woman had returned. What was her name again? I couldn't quite remember. She was wearing the same evening gown as before, her hair just as bedraggled, but her eyes seemed a little more dull, a little more lifeless. She was again fixated on the candle, and as the waiter came around with the menu, she didn't say anything. Not a mention that the menu was useless, not an indicator of the bizarre conversation we had started to have the time before, nothing. I raised the menu between us experimentally, hoping to invoke a response. Nothing.
Then I remembered.
"Sarah?" There was no response. I leaned over the table as before, and said her name again, louder this time. At length she tore her gaze from the candle, looking around until her wandering eyes fell finally on me. They flashed as though she was surprised to see me, noticing me for the first time. Then they returned to their trance-like state of before.
"Hi," she replied. "Would you like something to eat?" She reached for the menu without taking her eyes off of me, then looked inside. She muttered to herself as she set it down next to her arm, and the waiter returned on light feet to remove it.
"Sarah, do you remember what we were talking about yesterday?" I asked, starting to feel uneasy. "We were sitting like this, as we are now... you said something about... about..." My memory started to fail me again. She cocked her head again, and extended her hand.
As the attendant's hand clamped firmly on my shoulder, she smiled subtly.
"Hi, I'm Sarah."
This beginning of this entry reminded me of some days at KCI. Not that KCI is that bad, but some days you just aren't fully there. Kinda of like everyone in this story.
ReplyDeleteIntriguing as always. I feel like i'm going to get super frustrated trying to figure out this train (but that's a good thing!)
ReplyDeleteYour main character is very detatched emotionally, which makes it sort of hard to really feel for him/understand him. He is more like a narrator than a protagonist - but maybe that's the way you intended it? Whatever the case, right now what's keeping me absorbed is the intrigue of the plot, simply because I want to figure out what's going on - not because I am concerned for the protagonist.
Even though he has no memory and no knowledge of who he is, everyone has the basic human emotions that can tell us who we are. I think if you explore his emotions with a little more depth, you can make him a more complex/dimensional character, and as I reader I would really feel for him a lot more. But again, I have no idea if you already have this all planned for later posts, or not at all for reasons unknown to me.
As always, the story is captivating and I'm looking forward to the next post!
These posts make me really tired, which is good because it means the atmosphere of the story is sucking me in. Is it weird that I think of this train like the Polar express? I like the subtle character development thus far. Keep up the good work, looking forward to reading next week's post.
ReplyDeleteYour posts are easier to read now with the space in between the paragraphs. It's interesting that you put the line "Then I remembered". It makes the statement have much more impact. Small things like that make so much more of a difference in someone's writing.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I would hate to be the protagonist. You're in an unknown place with no memory and no one remembers anything either. What are you supposed to do then? For all we know, the attendant can be some psychotic grim reaper. It's a very intriguing story.